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In our fast paced modern day lives it is easy to lose focus and go onto automatic pilot, dropping back into a way of being that we have become accustomed. We often make firm decisions to change and then catch ourselves doing something we swore we would never do again. It's easy at this stage to drop back into toxic self talk and berate ourselves for failing, moving even further away from what we want to create.
As the queen of periods of manic powering through work always followed by several weeks of rebellious procrastination, I have been working a lot over the past few years on bringing this back into balance. However just a few months ago on the lead up to a launch, I felt myself going right back there again. At first I fell into the old habit of reprimanding myself, which as always slowly but surely lowers my self worth and self esteem. And again, I caught myself there. I was conscious to the old patterns of behaviour I was falling back into. This isn't a failure. Its actually something to celebrate. In acknowledging those behaviours, I had already broken a pattern by noticing I was doing something I no longer wanted to do.
Until we are conscious of something it is impossible to change it so the first step has already been taken in becoming aware. Once that has happened you are already present. From there you are able to re-direct your attention and create a more expansive, kinder and supportive environment to live in. Each time we stop an automatic negative or familiar behaviour and remind ourselves of what we want to think and feel we strengthen that thought until it becomes our default setting. So celebrate your stumbles when you notice them by reinforcing what you do want.
Notebook Exercise
Next time you find yourself in negative self talk, reprimanding yourself and making you feel small, experiment with these journal prompts and learn how to switch it around.
Set your timer for two minutes and let your pen flow and blurt out the negative and get it all out on paper. What have you 'failed' at? How do you feel about it?
Then, celebrate your stumbles and turn your negatives into positives. Go back over the first prompt and think about a way you can turn each negative into a positive or a lesson. For example:
'I've done it again, I always work myself too hard until I burn out'
becomes
'I'm so proud of myself, I have recognised that I have fallen into an old pattern and I've stopped myself. I am becoming more conscious.'
Next, set your timer for four minutes and let your pen flow. Celebrate yourself and write down all the things you do well. Keep going and don't edit!
To create a habit, do this daily and train your brain into a more positive mindset!
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