There are stories we carry that enhance our lives, add to the rich tapestry of our experiences and provide us with wisdom and a foundation for who we are. These stories help us have a sense of meaning and fulfilment.
There are also stories we carry that sap the joy our of our lives and hold us back from reaching our potential, they keep us in the same loop and choosing the same things, even if those choices keep us in unhappy and unhealthy patterns. They assist in creating a feeling of helplessness or being a victim of circumstance.
There are many ways we experience these stories:
You leave a relationship or a job for new horizons and a few months later find you have similar problems with a different person or situation? Once again you feel unfulfilled, stuck frustrated, ignored.
You meet a new set of friends and everything is great and then some time later you start to notice familiar traits you don't like in them, you feel left out, betrayed, bored.
The new home/hobby/hair do gives you that confidence boost lasts a while and then that old restless unfulfilled feeling starts to poke you again.
The circumstances may change but the same feelings emerge again and again. Sound familiar?
On a conscious level we want to experience something new, we want to enjoy life, be healthy happy, abundant etc. However, our beliefs about what is possible for us, how much we deserve, what we are really capable of, what is to be expected in life are stored in our subconscious and it's our subconscious that runs the show. This can have us experiencing life from that familiar zone of being a cork in a moving stream; wanting to change direction with no idea of how to change the flow.
Noticing what patterns repeat themselves in your life can be a powerful exercise and the first step in shining the light on the possibility of creating something better. What phrases do you find yourself repeating? What situations do you find yourself complaining about year in year out? What uncomfortable feelings are all too familiar and when do they crop up? What beliefs do you need to have in order to keep this reality you keep experiencing.
Here are just a few places those beliefs, patterns and old stories can come from:
Our identity - things we have been told about ourselves that we have taken on board. Not being clever enough, lovable enough, to fat, too thin, unfit, no will power...and the list goes on (and most probably many experiences to prove them right!).
Our survival and past traumas - these beliefs are formed at times when we just needed to get through or survive a traumatic or difficult time. The force of the decisions we made in those moments continue to govern our actions way past their sell by date.
Ancestral - Sometimes they are carried down from our ancestors. Passed down through epigenetics as well as the beliefs and experiences of your lineage. Particularly through the maternal line as because women are born with all of their eggs in their ovaries, three generations of one family can exist in the grandmothers body. We carry our ancestral stories as well as our own.*
Whatever your beliefs, you can guarantee that you will continue to draw situations to you or interpret things in a way that prove they are true. The more experiences we have the stronger our beliefs become - and the cycle strengthens.
Although it is sometimes useful to understand where our beliefs were formed it is also important to not let those reasons become the new story - serving as an excuse for feeling helpless and staying put:
'I am like this because of ....'
'The thing is my mother never ....'
'That teacher continually put me down and ruined my confidence and now I always ...'
Although it is important to give your realisations acknowledgement, it is also important to let go of these stories so we can create something more life affirming. Ceasing to keep blaming doesn't mean you are condoning anything and neither does it let them off the hook. However, it does let you off the hook, forgiveness leads to a very powerful release of toxic energy and replenishes your life force.
The clues to what would be beneficial for you to let go of also lie in the present. Looking a little deeper into whatever is challenging in our lives right now can help us to recognise the familiar feelings we have, the language we use, the negative expectations and affirmations that arise.
We are living history books. Our experiences are logged in our bodies and emotions are guides to creating a dialogue with areas of tension that are clamouring for attention.
And now for the good news:
Somatic practices, that speak the language our bodies understand, help us to feel safe enough to let go of ways of being that are out dated and hold us back. They allow us to replace them with beliefs, attitudes and ways of being that set us free and on our way to creating a more spacious, peaceful and happier way of being. Regular practices allow us to be curious, get clear, make space, dream, take action, assimilate and celebrate new ways of being.
So, what are you waiting for? Why would you not embark on this enjoyable and expansive journey? You can get started with this months YouTube update: Natures Rhythms October Update - Letting Go Of Old Stories 🍁
Join us for our monthly natures rhythms update as we tap into the cyclical energy of the seasons with a short talk, life coaching exercise and somatic practice. Get clear on how we can begin to shift these old stories that create the patterns that hold us back. Then, align your mind and your body with this simple, take away daily practice.
NB: Although these techniques are available to everyone it is important to work with a licensed practitioner if you are dealing with severe trauma or anytime you begin to feel our of your depth.
*References: It Didn't Start With You - By Mark Wolynn - How inherited family trauma shapes who we are and how to end the cycle