Halloween is drawing near, the veil is thin between the worlds and it's a time for spooks and ghosts and all things creepy. It is also a time to honour our ancestors, a practice that is found in every ancient culture and still holds strong in many traditions today. Linking our lives to those who have gone before us connects us to a bigger picture. We are not here in isolation, we are part of a lineage. We are here because of the success of our ancestors, their lives mattered and carved a way for us. The choices they made left a legacy that we live with now. This philosophy also connects us to the generations to come, knowing that whatever path we take in life is paving the way for future generations gives our lives a sense of value and purpose.
Looking at our lives in isolation we can easily feel lost and alone. Do our lives really matter? Do we really matter? When life seems harsh and unfair and we are struggling it can often help to think in lifetimes rather than just getting through the situation we are in or feeling trapped and victimised. It is helpful to remember that this piece of the jigsaw may not make sense alone but in the grand scheme of things it completes a picture and has value.
I struggled a lot in my youth with anxiety, ill health and low self esteem. Even though on the outside my life often looked exciting my inner world was more often than not fraught with insecurities and confusion. I skidded into the world of self help sideways in a blind panic trying to get my life back on track. It took years of running down dead end streets, wrong turns and running in circles before I finally found a path I could put into practice and calm the voice of fear that was blocking me from making any progress. During the struggle it all felt so unfair and confusing, why me? seemed to be my mantra. I gradually found stability and contentment and my explorations led me to the career I love today. It took many years before I realised how much my experiences allowed me to resonate and understand others, how valuable they were not just in finding my own sense of peace and joy but to being able to help others to find theirs.
Two years ago now, I had the opportunity to coach my niece (and now business partner) Hannah when she was going through a hard time. It was wonderful to be able to pass on what had enriched my life to the next generation of my own family. I was reminded again that my own journey had helped pave some of Hannah's path. I was able to help her avoid the pitfalls of the world of self help and the usual patterns that keep us on the hamster wheel of ‘trying’ to change. I watched Hannah embrace the practices and make progress far quicker and easier that I had done.
Although looking at our journeys in isolation it seems like I got the short straw as I had to find my way in a path less trodden – when I look at my mum’s life, I suddenly get a different perspective. Mum had to pull herself out of severe poverty and domestic violence to create the large, strong, close-knit family that Hannah and I enjoy today. I see how in my life I have had the luxury of moving way past living to survive, and I’ve been able to explore much deeper the motivation that drove my mum, which was to create a happier and more fulfilling life for herself and her family.
This is not to say that it always has to be a path of struggle! We can learn through joy and curiosity, in fact we learn far quicker through joy and most certainly teaching by example is the best way to pass on our valuable wisdom. It is important to remember that we are all interconnected and what we do and how happy and fulfilled we are in our lives matters, not only to us but to those who will be here long after we are gone. Or, as my dad always said, long after we are 'pushing up the daisies’.
P.s. If you want to dive deeper into the energy of each season and how you can work with it, check out our FREE course Tapping Into Natures Rhythms: A five step blueprint to handpicking your life.